It seems that life is always busy. I’m sure most of you would agree. This has been even more true for us recently than it usually is. Today I was thinking about the commitment that Chantal and I made to each other back when we were dating: That we would continue to “date” each other after we were married and had kids. For the most part we have been able to do this. Even the week after Tobin was born we left him at his grandma’s for a nap while we went out for lunch. Over the last few months though our “dates” have been less regular than I would like them to be.
There are many reasons why we should continue to date our spouse after the wedding and kids. It’s spending time together that deepens our relationship. It is one way of making our marriage a priority. It demonstrates to our kids how to have a strong marriage and that not everything revolves around them. The list of benefits is huge, but getting down to doing it (and that should happen too) can be more difficult, especially if it’s been awhile.
There are two things you should include in your date to make it a real success, for both of you. Guys like doing stuff: Do something on your date that you will both enjoy. Girls like talking: Make sure that; whatever you do, there is ample room for good conversation. Combining these two has the added bonus that the best conversations usually come when you’re doing something together rather than just staring at each other across the table.
So what do you do? Here are 3 of my favorites:
- Grab a drink to go (coffee, tea, slurpees, whatever you like) and head out for a walk through a park or somewhere else you enjoy.
- Make dinner together. Saves on the cost of eating out and can be a lot of fun as well.
- Have a games night with each other. Dig out your favorite board game, card game or puzzle and enjoy an evening of snacking and playing together
Whatever you decide to do make sure that you arrange for a babysitter or, my favorite, a sleep over at grandma’s. You need to have time for just you and your spouse.
It can be hard to set the time aside for a good date when life is so busy, but it’s vital to your marriage that you do. This afternoon I called Chantal and asked if she’d go out with me tonight. She said yes, so we’re headed out just the two of us.
Whatever you have to do to make it happen: Do it. Pick a time, make it happen, and have fun together.
Here are a few links with some other good date ideas: